:: eucharisteo ::

Gratitude bestows reverence,

allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies,

those transcendent moments of awe

that change forever how we experience life and the world.

Sarah Ban Breathnach

This week I've been on a bit of an adventure and discovery of thankfulness. I had already started listing 1000 things I'm thankful for, after being inspired by Ann Voskamp through her blog A Holy Experience. 

But then I received this book in the post from my lovely & very generous friend Rita:

I've had many moments in my life when I've been reading a book and realise that it's exactly what I was needing to read at that particular time. It's almost as though each of those books are answering thoughts and questions I had been pondering up until reading through pages and saying to myself 'Wow! Exactly what I have been thinking about!' I don't reckon it's a coincidence.

So this book was another of those books...

I came across a word I had seen used in other blogs and in Ann's own blog...

:: eucharisteo ::

But I had no idea what it meant or where it came from...

I discovered it is the greek word that was translated into 'gave thanks' when Jesus broke bread on his last night with his disciples, before he died. And within that word are two other words: charis which means grace, and chara, meaning joy.

As Ann read through the accounts of the life of Jesus with new eyes, she realised how often He gave thanks and that, more often than not, that thankfulness preceded miracles. Like the feeding of 5000 people with just a few loaves of bread and fish. 

I think what struck me most is that, when we slow down and take notice of the many, many things big and small around us and realise there is a lot to appreciate and be thankful for, we find that joy begins to overtake the fears, the worries, and the neverending wanting of more...which I can definitely identify with. And the more practice we have at looking for those gifts all around us, the easier it is, it becomes a habit we enjoy, and suddenly a miracle occurs within us as we realise we're in holy territory - even though we're still living ordinary everyday sort of lives - because we're noticing the good, the beautiful, the profound...we're stepping closer to the Creator of all of these things. Like the way the sun shines on the snow making it look like someone has sprinkled glitter across the ground...

I loved this following excerpt from the book...

I know that there is poor and hideous suffering,

and I've seen the guns that go to war.

I have lived pain, and my life can tell:

I only deepen the wound of the world 

when I neglect to give thanks

for the early light dappled though leaves

and the heavy perfume of wild roses in early July

and the song of crickets on humid nights

and the rivers that run

and the stars that rise

and the rain that falls

and all the good things that a good God gives.

Why would the world need more anger, more outrage?

How does it save the world

to reject unabashed joy

when it is joy that saves us?

Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering

doesn't rescue the suffering.

The converse does.

The brave who focus on all things good

and all things beautiful

and all things true,

even in the small, 

who give thanks for it

and discover joy even in the here and now,

they are the change agents

who bring fullest Light 

to all the world.

Ann Voskamp

one thousand gifts

page 58  

Here are some things that I'm thankful for this week...

One-on-one times with each girl while the other sleeps or is at home. And they love the one-on-one attention too!

Hearing little voices below the table in the playhouse reading stories. I'll never tire from these story-reading times :)

Our sweet Leesie who had her 5th (or 4th...I've lost count!) endoscopie this past week. She was born with vocal chords that were semi-paralysed and completely paralysed. The doctors have never been able to pinpoint why, which in some ways is a good thing...it's not neurological. So every few months she's had an endoscopie, during which the ENT surgeons look at her vocal chords with a camera and check for development. The latest news is that her right vocal chord works just like normal, which is great! Her left vocal chord is still paralysed. So we can only give her time to grow and see whether or not it will also develop normally, or will rest paralysed. This time they did wonder whether or not, during an operation she had at 12 days old, a nerve that leads to that vocal chord and runs very close to the area she was operated on, may have had damage.  

  
Considering that she was this size at the time of the operation, it wouldn't be surprising! In the meantime I'm incredibly thankful she even has a voice and she uses it to sing every day!

I love snack time when I get the girls to sit down and give them a bowl each. Inevitably Elise has hers traded!

I love that I finally captured the moon as it appeared in the sky the other night. This is as close as my zoom would allow!

Amélie's first attempt at drawing. I put 'buy crayons/pencils for the girls' on the shopping list in hopes that they will also share their mummy's love for art.

I stole the pillows from the bed in our guest-room and put them on our bed. 9 in total. I love beds with lots of pillows and blankets...cosy enough to sink into! I made sure the dishes were cleaned up super fast that day so I could read there while the girls slept :)


And some more moments captured and enjoyed during the week...

And finally, something that made me gasp and giggle lastnight, watching the girls have fun with their daddy, and giving you a good glimpse of their personalities...

I hope you're all having a good weekend. I'm looking forward to this coming week. A 30th birthday, Eti taking the day off, a trip back to the hospital with the girls for their development check up (and a chance to catch up with our beloved neonatal friends!), and birthday celebrating with friends next weekend!

Linking up with PaisleyJade's Things I'm Loving

21 months

Today our girls are 21 months old! It feels like forever ago that they were born. 21 months since our lives changed quite dramatically, but without question for the richer in joy & gratefulness. 21 months that fade my memories of the tiny hands that could wrap themselves over our fingertips, the smallest fingernails I've ever seen, the most perfectly formed miniature little people...miracles. And they literally are walking miracles. It's crazy how quickly I forget what we experienced in those first days and months of their lives. It's often when life becomes easier that I lose sight of the Divine, or forget to appreciate it's presence. But in those days we could see Him so clearly guarding the girls' lives and protecting them throughout the rollercoaster ride of premature beginnings.

From being born 14 weeks early and weighing 700g and 710g, here's a reminder to myself of where they started, and where they are today...21 months later...

Quick work by the medical team to help the girls during their first minutes on the outside

Amélie's tiny foot...daddy was on nappy duty within hours!

Perspective on size

Our first real cuddle with Amélie on her 3rd day

Everything was miniature

This was Elise's handprint at just over 6 weeks old!

Their first nappy size

21 months later...

Elise has discovered the piano!

Playing with Grandpapa

Having fun together

Beautiful Amélie Hope!

It seems like these days they are learning new things all the time...we sometimes laugh at what they must have been observing and learn to copy from us!

Elise Grace continues to defy the fact that one of her vocal chords is paralysed by singing throughout our days. She sings while she plays, in the car and in her bed! Her favourites remain Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Ainsi Font Font Font. She has a rascally side that appears with the forewarning of a little twinkle in her eye and going in the opposite direction! She loves her babies, kissing them, us, Amélie and any characters in her stories that she likes. She is enjoying her play kitchen and stirring imaginary foods in her pots! She's been walking for a couple of months now and learned that rapidly because she was so persistent in staying on her feet! Leesie is our fun-loving, light-hearted, joyful, adventurous little girl who holds an enormous amount of inner strength...which comes out sometimes at dinnertimes or when she's hungry and tired!

Amélie Hope  is living up to the meaning of her name industrious! She's busy, busy, busy these days...going to and fro, helping me fold washing (she has the process sorted, just not the end result quite yet!), finding the baby wipes to clean the floor, chairs, her face and more recently to help me clean her bottom! She & Elise both are into showing us their face parts, pointing at Mama and Papa and covering their mouths dramatically with Il/Elle est ou!?!' (Where is he/she?!) whenever someone disappears out of their sight. Amélie just loves to help, arrange, sort out, do what she sees mummy doing, and making sure Elise has her bunny rabbit. Her current favourite song to sing remains Ainsi Font Font Font and she's got the actions down pretty well!

The girls are both starting to say words and copy the words we say to them. They both started with baby/bébé and have the same name for their bunny rabbits which sounds a bit like billy. They seem to understand french as well as they do english, sometimes moreso, much to their Grandmaman's delight. Once we're in NZ we're going to make a conscious effort to speak french at home so they continue to keep it up. 


Lately the strong wills have been surfacing, which makes life just a little more 'interesting'! I guess they couldn't have survived through what they did in their first weeks and months without some measure of strength. So I'm figuring out my way through how to deal in the best way with flying food, utensils, water bottles and loud voices...and staying confident, sane and positive :)

But, truly, for most of the time they are full of fun, adventure, character, life, good humour and joy, which we just love. They sleep incredibly well, eat mostly well and are gifts that cause us to stop often and realise how blessed indeed we are. 



 

18 months today! A memoir of gratitude for LIFE

Today is Amélie & Elise's 18 month birthday! Over the last few weeks they have transformed from babies into toddlers. It's amazing, and incredibly encouraging, to watch our little girls grow and develop from here....

So tiny!

Amélie Hope 710g

Our first night of life on the outside

Daddy's hand

Elise Grace 700g

Mummy's hand

Daddy & Elise

to now...

Elise reading to herself!

Amélie

I've just started taking steps on my own!

I know we don't tend to celebrate half-birthdays, but I like to make myself remember that our healthy, happy, energetic, adventurous little girls arrived into this world just a little too early, tiny, fragile and without a great chance of surviving, let alone surviving without any disabilities. During those first weeks, as the doctors couldn't promise that we would go home with them both, there were many rollercoaster moments...and I found that it did us so much good to celebrate every little step in the right direction. So we did. 5g gained, 10 minutes breathing without a CPAP, the first baths (in a dolls bath!), the 1kg parties, their first 'real beds', their first clothes...truthfully I found it much easier to be thankful for even the smallest things (and big things like the incredible Neonatal team!) than to feel sorry for myself and wish we didn't have to go through something like that. When I look back I really only have good memories, and a thankfulness that I have been privileged to be a part of the world of miniature, perfect little people. There were many moments that I was terrified that one of the girls might not make it. I said to God that He couldn't allow one of them to die! I would wake up in the morning and think to myself 'Well, no news (from Neonatal) surely means good news,' and then arrive to the unit and hear that Elise had had a huge apnea and they were even scared about getting her back. But thankfully I remember the people, who made us feel at home in a foreign world, the beautiful surroundings that made it very un-hospital-like, and the last weeks that were relatively peaceful - bathing the girls, changing their clothes, feeding them, giving them cuddles. 

The smallest Pampers!

Their tiny first pyjamas that I thought looked huge!

Elise's 1kg handprint!

Evolution of Pampers! Since this photo we've gone up a size!

So, there we go. 18 months old today and we can now join the voices of hope that once told us "One day you'll never know they came so early!" We're almost there. Elise still has realistic risks with her breathing, because of her vocal chords, if she catches a cold or sore throat, but...if we can make it through this winter as healthily as possible, then we should be in the clear. 


Life is a miracle, huh?! May I never lose the enthusiasm to celebrate milestones, big and small. To remember where we've come from, and to hold onto the excitement and hope of the possibilities of the future. And to appreciate even the small things, as my little girls show me how each day.


We LOVE you Amélie Hope & Elise Grace. You make our lives all the more richer, brighter, happier and fun :) 

Phew, I'm very impressed if you made it to here! That was a lot of photos. Just in case you've got time to see a few more, here's the video we made to celebrate the girls' first birthday.